A Bird in the Hand....

I received this in a email from a friend. It's amazing...enjoy!

"This is something I have never seen before, or ever even heard of. This woman lives in a Hummingbird fly zone. As they migrated, about 20 of them were in her yard. She took the little red dish, filled it with sugar water and this is the result.
The woman is Abagail Alfano of Pine, Louisiana - she has been studying them daily and one morning put the cup from the feeder, with water in it, in her hand; as they had gotten used to her standing by the feeder they came over to her hand. She says in touching they are as light as a feather. Abagail also said, 'if she had known her husband was taking pictures she would have put on makeup.' "

JIB JAB!

The Birdfeeder

(from a friend)

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it was, as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table..
everywhere!

Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.

And other birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be....quiet, serene.....and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let's see. Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care and free education, and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's second grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English.

Food containers at the grocery store now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than 'Old Glory' are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.

Redneck Fire Alarm

THE STORM

They were together in the house. Just the two of them.

It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.

She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her from the storm.

Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out. She screamed ...... He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.

He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms. He knew this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull back.

He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him. The storm raged on......... They knew it was wrong ......

Their families would never understand .....

So consumed were they in their FEAR that they heard no opening of doors.......

Just the faint click of a camera ................. . . .

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said: "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied: "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I go fishing."

Gotta love those husbands!

Can you read this?

Only great mindscan read this. This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cn a yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclt y uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are,the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuot slpeling was ipmorantt!

D-Day Prayer from FDR, 1944

President Franklin D. Roosevelt's D-Day Prayer
June 6, 1944

My fellow Americans: Last night, when I spoke with you about the fall of Rome, I knew at that moment that troops of the United States and our allies were crossing the Channel in another and greater operation. It has come to pass with success thus far.

And so, in this poignant hour, I ask you to join with me in prayer:

Almighty God: Our sons, pride of our Nation, this day have set upon a mighty endeavor, a struggle to preserve our Republic, our religion, and our civilization, and to set free a suffering humanity.

Lead them straight and true; give strength to their arms, stoutness to their hearts, steadfastness in their faith.

They will need Thy blessings. Their road will be long and hard. For the enemy is strong. He may hurl back our forces. Success may not come with rushing speed, but we shall return again and again; and we know that by Thy grace, and by the righteousness of our cause, our sons will triumph.

They will be sore tried, by night and by day, without rest-until the victory is won. The darkness will be rent by noise and flame. Men's souls will be shaken with the violences of war.

For these men are lately drawn from the ways of peace. They fight not for the lust of conquest. They fight to end conquest. They fight to liberate. They fight to let justice arise, and tolerance and good will among all Thy people. They yearn but for the end of battle, for their return to the haven of home.

Some will never return. Embrace these, Father, and receive them, Thy heroic servants, into Thy kingdom.

And for us at home -- fathers, mothers, children, wives, sisters, and brothers of brave men overseas -- whose thoughts and prayers are ever with them--help us, Almighty God, to rededicate ourselves in renewed faith in Thee in this hour of great sacrifice.

Many people have urged that I call the Nation into a single day of special prayer. But because the road is long and the desire is great, I ask that our people devote themselves in a continuance of prayer. As we rise to each new day, and again when each day is spent, let words of prayer be on our lips, invoking Thy help to our efforts.

Give us strength, too -- strength in our daily tasks, to redouble the contributions we make in the physical and the material support of our armed forces.

And let our hearts be stout, to wait out the long travail, to bear sorrows that may come, to impart our courage unto our sons wheresoever they may be.

And, O Lord, give us Faith. Give us Faith in Thee; Faith in our sons; Faith in each other; Faith in our united crusade. Let not the keenness of our spirit ever be dulled. Let not the impacts of temporary events, of temporal matters of but fleeting moment let not these deter us in our unconquerable purpose.

With Thy blessing, we shall prevail over the unholy forces of our enemy. Help us to conquer the apostles of greed and racial arrogancies. Lead us to the saving of our country, and with our sister Nations into a world unity that will spell a sure peace a peace invulnerable to the schemings of unworthy men. And a peace that will let all of men live in freedom, reaping the just rewards of their honest toil.

Thy will be done, Almighty God.

Amen.

Kathleen & Aaron....first dance ideas.....lol

Your aunt is only kidding, just thought you might like to watch something fun in the midst of all this wedding planning. Enjoy!

In memory of Oma....with love

My sister's mother-in-law was named Gertrude Wolfe and lovingly called Oma by her family. She passed away recently and it is a great loss of a very lovely lady both inside and out. She was very kind and giving to others, loved her family and loved her Lord Jesus. One of our most fondest memories for my husband and I was when we were first married, we went to the German Club in St. Augustine with Oma, my sister & her husband. It was there that we learned the "Chicken Dance". What a fun dance and fun to watch everyone else doing this crazy dance. In memory of Oma, here is a video of the Chicken Dance and another German Dance below it.

We love and miss you, Oma.

Pelosi at her best or worst...either way, priceless!

"I was not briefed on what was in the briefing. I was just informed."

OK, now tell us, madam, what were you informed of? Or were you just informed of a briefing that you somehow don't have any clue as to its contents and you expect us to believe that you wouldn't want to know what this was all about! In your position, you should know all the comings and goings, the ins and outs, all the whispers in the Great Hall. But just not this briefing??? Righttttttttttttttt.....

News You May Have Missed....

BELLEVUE, Wash. — The Bellevue Fire Department says a sunny day and a dog's water bowl caused the fire that charred the back of a home.

Lt. Eric Keenan says investigators determined the glass bowl of water magnified the rays enough to start the Sunday afternoon fire on the wood deck.

There was no wiring or other possible cause.

The homeowners were away, but neighbors noticed the smoke and flames.

The family dog was rescued. Damage is estimated at $215,000.

A page from the diary of our four-legged friends...

From a Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


From a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Idiots!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now...

CHILDREN AND THE CHURCH

I haven't posted anything in a while...sorry about that! Things have been busy at work, at home and just life in general. I work for the school system and learned a couple of weeks ago that I will have my job for next year. Several other classified staff will not, so I feel very blessed. I love my job and the people I work with just as I'm sure the others did too, so please keep those in prayer that are in need of a job.

My co-hort and I will also be getting new offices as several people are moved around. Presently, our office is a large storage closet, no windows, 2 desks, a conference table and several pieces of furniture. We've made it home for 3 years. Next year, we will have our own office with a window and a designated conference room. We're excited! The thing that we will miss is that we bounce ideas off each other during the day, I finish her sentences and so forth. We've debated about putting in a window between our office, using a baby monitor so I can listen in on the meetings (as I do now) so I get items that are requested. But we'll adjust.

I also will be back-up to the registrar and the records room. I call it "opportunity" to gain more experience. So I am in the process of learning that position too. So things will be busy at work and especially next year. I hope you enjoy the following.

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said,
4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
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After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?

A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service, "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."
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A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
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A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
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After the dedication of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That pastor said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent..
"The Flight to Egypt," was his reply.
Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot!"
? º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies, I don't have to. My mom is a good cook."
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?

This is the best one.

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he ?"
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?

The creator behind the cartoon "Maxine".

John Wagner, Hallmark artist since 1970, says Maxine was inspired by his mother, his maiden aunts and his grandmother, the woman who bought him art lessons when 'fill in the pumpkins' was about the extent of his art classes at St. John's Catholic School he attended in Leonia, N.J.

John remembers doodling as a preschooler, and says both his grandmother and his mother encouraged his artistic interests. He eventually attended the Vesper George School of Art in Boston, and landed at Hallmark as part of a new artists group.

But it was the birth of the humorous Shoebox Greetings (a tiny little division of Hallmark) in 1986 that added a new dimension to John's professional life. The Shoebox way of seeing the world unleashed his talents and he created Maxine.

'Cartoonists are sensitive to the insanities of the world; we just try to humanize them,' John says.

'If Maxine can get a laugh out of someone who feels lonely or someone who is getting older and hates the thought of another birthday, or if she can make someone chuckle about stressful interpersonal relationships, then I'm happy. Putting a smile on someone's face is what it's all about.'

Those smiles have led to Maxine's becoming a bit of a celebrity. She (and John) have been the subject of media stories, including People, USA Today, Good Morning America, The Wall Street Journal, St. Petersburg (FL) Times, and Las Vegas Journal-Review, and they have been included in a major Associated Press story.

Collector and trade publications have reported that fans nationwide are collecting Maxine items. Letters from consumers and fans to John and Maxine reveal a very personal connection to Maxine. Many people say they are just like Maxine.

Why the name 'Maxine'? 'People at Shoebox started referring to the character as 'John Wagner's old lady,'

And I knew that would get me into trouble with my wife,' John says. The Shoebox team had a contest among themselves to name the character, and three of the approximately 30 entries suggested 'Maxine.

' John says the name is perfect.

John, who says he's humbled by such acceptance of Maxine, admits he's proud of her.

Needed prayer.....

We have learned this morning that someone we know and love has leukemia. It is apparently a rare but treatable cancer that can be put into remission for years.

I'd like to ask that you please lift this friend up in prayer and that he be healed and placed into remission, protected from all infections and restored to good health.

Thank you and God bless you all this day.....

Motherhood....

Ah, motherhood....you see it everywhere. Mothers, even in the animal kingdom, care for their young. They're protective, loving, nuturing.....



giving warm hugs and kisses......



and held upside down for that warm, touchy, feely kind of mothering. Geezzzzzz!

Three Things in Life.....

THREE THINGS IN LIFE THAT, ONCE GONE, NEVER COME BACK
1. TIME
2. WORDS
3. OPPORTUNITY

THREE THINGS IN LIFE THAT CAN DESTROY A PERSON
1. ANGER
2. PRIDE
3. UNFORGIVENESS

THREE THINGS IN LIFE THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER LOSE
1. HOPE
2. PEACE
3. HONESTY

THREE THINGS IN LIFE THAT ARE MOST VALUABLE
1. LOVE
2. FAMILY
3. KINDNESS

THREE THINGS IN LIFE THAT ARE NEVER CERTAIN
1. FORTUNE
2. SUCCESS
3. DREAMS

THREE THINGS THAT MAKE A PERSON
1. COMMITMENT
2. SINCERITY
3. HARD WORK


THREE THINGS THAT ARE TRULY CONSTANT
FATHER - SON - HOLY SPIRIT

(Thank you sis)

Ocoee High School: We Are YOUR Future!

This video is about the school where I work, Ocoee High School in Ocoee, Florida. It's about the cuts that are coming next year that will possibly cut my job (which affects the Special Education students that I work for). It will affect the lives of all students as it cuts the jobs of their favorite teachers, their favorite electives, sports...it will possibly forever change the face of Ocoee High School and what it has become in just four short years.

"Ocoee High School's take on budget cuts. Be informed. Fight for your education. Fight for your future. Contact legislatures. 50th is NOT OK. Credit to: Ross, Emily, Jannelle, and Morgan for producing; all those interviewed for giving their input; and especially Principal Mike Armbruster, who cares about our school from the bottom of his heart and who has done so much for every single one of us."

What is a Brazilian?

The Dept of Defense briefed the president this morning and told OBAMA that two Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq.

To everyone's surprise, all the color drained from Obama's face. Then he collapsed onto his desk, head in his hands, visibly shaken, almost in tears.

Finally, he composed himself and asked, 'Just how many is a brazilian?'

This is especially enlightening since he obviously has no understanding of what a billion or a trillion is either.

My liberal friends were right!

I have to admit it. My liberal friends were right.


They told me if I voted for McCain, the nation's hope would deteriorate, and sure enough there has been a 20 point drop in the Consumer Confidence Index since the election, reaching a lower point than any time during the Bush administration.

They told me if I voted for McCain, the US would become more deeply embroiled in the Middle East, and sure enough tens of thousands of additional troops are scheduled to be deployed into Afghanistan.

They told me if I voted for McCain, that the economy would get worse and sure enough unemployment is approaching 8.8% and the new stimulus packages implemented recently have sent the stock market lower than at any time since the 1980's.

They told me if I voted for McCain, we would see more "crooks" in high ranking positions in Federal government and sure enough, several recent cabinet nominees and Senate appointments revealed resumes of bribery and tax fraud.

Well I ignored my Democrat friends in November and voted for McCain. And they were right.... all of their predictions have come true.

Here comes the bride.......

What a fun day we had this past Saturday! My niece, Kathleen (my sister's daughter), is getting married on August 1 (our 25th anniversary is the 4th, so lots of celebrating will be had by all). The bridal party met at David's Bridal down by the Millenia Mall. There was me and my two girls, Phyl & Kathleen, the soon-to-be mother-inlaw & grandmother-inlaw, sister-inlaw and 3 friends (5 bridesmaids).

First, we either stood and sat around Kathleen's dressing room while she tried on about 10 bridal gowns. For the most part, they all looked very pretty on her, especially 3. But she kept coming back to the very first one. It has.....sorry, Aaron, you're not gonna hear it here!!! But she did look beautiful in it.

We all clapped because she chose her gown, that she was very happy and in celebration of the day to come. And then the waterworks started. I looked at Laura and she had tears running down her face, then my sister, and it then went downhill from there. BUT happy tears, mind you.

It was fun too because you got to watch all the other brides with their wedding dresses on. And there were all sizes, designs, really no two alike. There was one that chose a Cinderella gown with fitted beaded bodice and layers of netting for the skirt. Another bride tried on a dress that was very pretty except the skirt had layers of silk material that looked like feathers..layers upon layers of feathers! Families and friends all over the store having a good time.

And lots of CHA-CHING at the register!!!

Remember....these people voted

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two...'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.


IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS

Jeff Foxworthy on School Employees

YOU might be a school employee if you believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

YOU might be a school employee if you want to slap the next person who says, 'Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off.

YOU might be a school employee if it is difficult to name your own child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring high blood pressure as it is uttered.

YOU might be a school employee if you can tell it's a full moon or if it's going to rain, snow, hail....anything!!! Without ever looking outside.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe, 'shallow gene pool' should have its own box on a report card.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, 'Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.'

YOU might be a school employee if when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

YOU might be a school employee if you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

YOU might be a school employee if you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the 'lounge.'

YOU might be a school employee if you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate the U-HAUL boxes should they decide to move out of district.

YOU might be a school employee if you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

YOU might be a school employee if you can't imagine how the ACLU could think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public.

YOU might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent instantly answers this question, 'Why is this kid like this?'

YOU might be a school employee if you would choose a mammogram over a parent conference.

YOU might be a school employee if you think someone should invent antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that matter!

YOU might be a school employee if you know how many days, minutes, and seconds are left in the school year!

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 4.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit
the ground each morning the devil says,
"OH CRAP, SHE'S UP"!

Three Contractors

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The contractor from Minnesota takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me ."

The contractor from Tennessee also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

Friday, the state of Florida was a sea of red!

This photo was taken Friday at Ocoee High School in Ocoee, Florida. Students that wore red to school that day were released into the courtyard to take a photo as a protest against what is happening, not only at Ocoee, but across Florida. Orange County, if our politicians in Tallahassee do not take steps to adequately fund education, will face a budget cut of at least $100 million dollars. Yes, you heard me right....$100 MILLION DOLLARS ON TOP OF WHAT HAS ALREADY BEEN CUT!! We're talking teachers, media, art, education, clerical....who is left to teach the children and run the school. It's crazy!!

Not to mention what's happening with the national budget debacle in Washington. What a joke!

(Can you find me? Look under the "a" in "State" about 4-5 people down.)

Cuts in Education NEVER Heal!

Principal Mike Armbruster, Ocoee High School, Ocoee, FL regarding funding or lack of funding for education.

"You have a vested interest!" This is the comment I hear most when I share my opinion of the current travesty occurring with the funding of education in our state. You see, from the perspective of those I am speaking with, they see a high-school principal who will be charged with doing more with much less in the upcoming year, and who is feeling sorry for himself. While their perception of why I have a vested interest is wrong, the assertion that I have that vested interest is right on target.

Each day I get to walk with greatness and to work for young people who constantly amaze me. Whether through their academic excellence, athletic abilities, ability to perform in the arts, willingness to serve or their resilience to the world around them, they are truly amazing. The thought that much of what they have will soon be taken from them is reprehensible to me. As I stand among 2,700 children each day, I would hope that these children would be a "vested interest" for all.

I would hope that it would not just be the dedicated educators and parents with school-aged children who care, but that business people, community members, retirees and, most importantly, our elected officials would see the importance of serving all children to the highest possible level. Understand that I am not an activist; I am not one to spend time fighting for causes. I simply get in the trench and do what must be done with what I have. I was raised that way.

I am an optimist. I get up every day with a belief that all children can learn, most people are good, and my elected state officials will honor our state constitution and "adequately" fund education. On this last one, I have been sorely disappointed.

Every child deserves the best that we can give. Our state Legislature has used the oldest tactic in the world to literally take from our children. Lawmakers have distracted us by dividing and conquering us. What better way to move the attention from them than to make local school boards have to choose between cutting small schools, athletics, social workers, media specialists, guidance counselors and all the other emotional items up for discussion.

So we begin to battle each other: The athlete's father screams for athletics; the troubled teen's mother screams for the social worker; and suddenly we are at each others' throats. We forget about those who force us to choose. Their strategy had been working well.

But then a few people here and a few there realized that it was not the school boards that were the problem, but rather those who decide how to fund education. Those whom we elect to serve us. With that realization, a small movement started that is growing in leaps and bounds. Many have come to realize that we have the power to change this education crisis. Many are fully prepared to do whatever it takes to realign the priorities of those we "hired." Soccer moms, lacrosse dads, students, principals, teachers, Parent Teacher Student Association/SAC members, and concerned community members in our district and around the state are moving. The sleeping giant has finally awoken, and will be heard.

On Friday, there will be a sea of red as schools across our district make the point that "cuts in education never heal." On the surface, it is tee shirts and a slogan, but deeper, it is the people speaking out for the rights of those who cannot speak out for themselves. It is America at its best, with the people running government, not government running the people.

If we don't act now, we will have no one to blame but ourselves when our students lose what they deserve.

C. R. A. P.

Senator Judd Gregg....Putting Principles Before Power

[I]t has become apparent during this process that this will not work for me as I have found that on issues such as the stimulus package and the Census there are irresolvable conflicts for me. Prior to accepting this post, we had discussed these and other potential differences, but unfortunately we did not adequately focus on these concerns. We are functioning from a different set of views on many critical items of policy. Obviously, the president requires a team that is fully supportive of all his initiatives. I greatly admire President Obama and know our country will benefit from his leadership, but at this time I must withdraw my name from consideration for this position.

Now that's doing the right thing, for the right reason and withdrawing with a clear conscience. Lately, we've seen too many in the news that can't say the same thing. No wonder between the bank execs, politicians not paying their taxes but expecting us to follow the rules and so on that we lose trust in those that we elect into office. Gregg knew even before being placed into office that there were problems with idealogy. He knew in his heart that not only would he have to answer to the American people, his Republican party, but also to his own self. And that, maybe above anything else, weighed the heaviest on him. So again, good job on doing the right thing.

I hear the jingling of keys for three Republicans!

What was listed in the two "Spendilus Bills":

$25 Million shall be available for tribal alcohol and substance abuse drug reduction assistance grants
$150 million for “producers of livestock, honeybees, and farm-raised fish”
$50 million for habitat restoration and other water needs in the San Francisco Bay Area
$198 million to compensate Filipino World War II veterans
$125 Million for the District of Columbia Water and Sewer Authority
$50 million for the National Endowment for the Arts
$650 Million for Digital Converter Box Program, coupons and converter box installation.
$1 billion for the Census Bureau
$40 Million to the Bureau of Indian Affairs for Operation of Indian Programs
$954 Million to carry out the immunization program
$15 billion for boosting Pell Grant college scholarships
$87 million for a polar icebreaking ship
$1.7 billion for the National Park System
$1 billion for community-development block grants
$4.2 billion for “neighborhood stabilization activities”
$650 Million to the Forrest Service for hazardous fuels reduction and hazard mitigation activities in areas at high risk of catastrophic wildfire
$545 Million for Indian Health Services
$100 Million for the Lead-Based Paint Hazard Control Grant Program
$850 million for Amtrak
$150 million for the Smithsonian
$300 million for energy-efficient-appliance rebate programs
$4 billion for job-training programs, including $1.2 billion for “youths” up to the age of 24
$55 million for Historic Preservation Fund
$7.6 billion for “rural community advancement programs”
$150 million for agricultural-commodity purchases
$1.368 Billion for grants or loans for energy retrofit and green investments in assisted housing
$1.5 Billion for NASA, Science, Aeronautics, Exploration, and Cross Agency support.
$198 Million for School Lunch Room EQUIPMENT
$9 Billion for ‘Broadband Technology Opportunities Program’
$1.256 Billion for NOAA, Operations, Research, Facilities, Acquisition, Construction and Management
$300 million for Violence against Women Prevention and Prosecution Programs,
$545 Million to carry out chronic disease, health promotion, and genomics programs
$60 Million to carry out environmental health programs
$50 Million to carry out injury prevention and control programs
$40 Million for the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health to carry out research activities within the National Occupational Research Agenda
$40, Million for the National Center for Health Statistics
$390 Million Dollars for the Uranium Enrichment Decontamination and Decommissioning Fund
$600 Million Dollars for acquiring motor vehicles with higher fuel economy
$400 million for hybrid cars for state and local governments
$34 million to renovate the Department of Commerce headquarters
$500 million for improvement projects for National Institutes of Health facilities
$44 million for repairs to Department of Agriculture headquarters
$350 million for Agriculture Department computers
$88 million to help move the Public Health Service into a new building
$448 million for constructing a new Homeland Security Department headquarters
$200 Million to the Leaking Underground Storage Tank Trust Fund Program
$200 Million for direct loans and grants for distance learning and telemedicine services in rural areas
$6 billion for university building projects
$4.5 billion for U.S. Army Corps of Engineers
$200 Million for developing and implementing a nationwide Integrated Wireless network supporting Federal law enforcement
$1.2 Billion for TSA procurement and installation of checked baggage explosives detection systems and checkpoint explosives detection equipment
$2 billion for renewable-energy research ($400 million for global-warming research)
$2 billion for a “clean coal” power plant in Illinois
$6.2 billion for the Weatherization As.sistance Program
$3.5 billion for energy-efficiency and conservation block grants
$3.4 billion for the State Energy Program
$200 million for state and local electric-transport projects
$1 billion for the manufacturing of advanced batteries
$1.5 billion for green-technology loan guarantees
$8 billion for innovative-technology loan-guarantee program
$2.4 billion for carbon-capture demonstration projects
$4.5 billion for electricity grid
$89 billion for Medicaid
$30 billion for COBRA insurance extension
$36 billion for expanded unemployment benefits
$20 billion for food stamps
$380 million in the Senate bill for the Women, Infants and Children program
$2 billion for federal child-care block grants

$79 billion for State Fiscal Stabilization Fund (for bailing out your local politicians overspending)

$145 billion for “Making Work Pay” tax credits
$83 billion for the earned income credit
(largely welfare now defined as a tax cut)

The Mom Song....dedicated to all moms

A funny!

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to ummm....pass gas.

The music is really loud, so you time your degassing with the beat. After

a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.

As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and

that's when you remember: you've been listening to your ipod...:)

The correct way to weigh yourself....:)

A smart idea for your car alarm!

Sounds like a good idea!



Put your car keys beside your bed at night. If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies.

This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this:

It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar won't stick around. After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.

Tim Tebow's ESPN Motivational Speech

Change......You Can Believe In...

Headlines on Inauguration Day just 4 years ago--Jan. 2005

"Republicans spending $42 million on inauguration while troops die in unarmored Humvees"

"Bush extravagance exceeds any reason during tough economic times"

"Fat cats get their $42 million inauguration party, Ordinary Americans get the shaft"



Headlines on Inauguration Day -- 2009

"Historic Obama Inauguration will cost only $120 million"

"Obama Spends $120 million on inauguration; America Needs A Big Party"

"Everyman Obama shows America how to celebrate"

"Citibank executives contribute $8 million to Obama Inauguration" (from gov't money they just received??)

The One..The Only..Kitty-the-Knockout-King!

TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Did you ever watch this program in the 60's? The two stars were David McCallum (Illya Kuryakin) and Robert Vaughn (Napoleon Solo). It was a great show back then...even had a teenage crush with the blond-headed McCallum! I'm a fan of a show called NCIS..maybe you are too. David McCallum plays the role of Dr Donald "Ducky" Mallard. In one of the episodes, when Agent Jethro Gibbs is asked, "What did Ducky look like when he was younger?" Gibbs responds, "Illya Kuryakin."

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I hope everyone had a very blessed Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year. It's been a busy time this year. Hubby's mom has been in & out of the hospital and hopefully now with new medicines is on the road to recovery. We spent Christmas with her and the rest of the family & had a nice time.

My cat, Lucy (the tortoise with the blue bow to the left photos) was also in the vet hospital and ill over the last three weeks of December. Had a swollen paw and totally quit eating & drinking. Was losing weight & cried like she just didn't feel well. Had to resort to force feeding & watering to give her nourishment. She was in the hospital for 3 nights and was diagnosed with an organism on her red blood cells (long term that starts with an H...). Was put on medicine twice a day along with force feeding. Her RBC kept dropping the week before Christmas so meds were increased to 3xday along with an appetite enhancer. On Friday night she started eating & a week ago drinking. So she also went to Grammie's along with our new kitten and Laura's cat, Maggie. Three cats in one bedroom.....what fun! Actually wasn't too bad..until bedtime when the kitten wants to drape herself around your neck like a scarf so SHE can sleep. Motor going loudly, shifting back & forth until she gets comfortable and then finally, the motor shuts off & she's off to sleep.

We spent New Year's Eve with some good friends, ate, drank and played a game. Watched hubby play Guitar Hero with some of the guys. He's only on beginner level..you don't get lower than that. I'll post a photo later of him playing guitar here at the house. I play it with Sarah and have moved to Easy level, attempting the Medium level and after getting booed by the audience go back to the Easy level. I'll keep practicing!

Have you packed up your decorations yet?? Worked on that today, what a job. I think it takes more time packing than getting the stuff out. Hope to finish it tomorrow afternoon before starting back to work on Monday....:(.

Found this video, hope you enjoy it. Hope the start of the new year is going well. My niece just got engaged on New Year's Eve so things are definitely going well for her!! Congratulations, Kathleen and Aaron!!!

Have a blessed day tomorrow......